It’s pathetic how tired I am after that short cardio session. Wow. I can tell I have been lifting and not doing like any cardio. But I’m going to try to do more cardio to shed some fluff and let my new muscles show more!

Update: 

I haven’t lifted in a couple weeks and I hate that I’m too scared to go the gym alone. I’ll have to in college, but I’d like to get some more experience first so I know I have the proper form down, especially for deadlifts and squats. I can tell I have gained fat and I hate it. I need to do more cardio, but wow, I just hate cardio so much. We are moving to a new house tomorrow with land, so I should be able to do sprints there and also go running without dealing with a bunch of cars. My step dad said he was thinking about building a power rack! I really hope he does, because it would be a dream come true. For real. I have to cancel my Gold’s membership probably, since there isn’t one in the small town we are moving to :( There is a gym about 15 minutes away from the new house so hopefully we will go a lot. I am hoping to get a job this summer. I tried last summer, but I applied at three places and didn’t get an interview anywhere. Oops. Lately, I have been constantly thinking about how badly I want to get into olympic lifting, or powerlifting. Hopefully I can do that when I get to college, even though I don’t think there is a lifting club on campus. Anyway, this was a random and pointless post,  but hey, if you actually read it then I guess it wasn’t 100% pointless.

Post run (a little over two miles)

My workouts have been almost nonexistent lately and it shows. I can tell I’ve gained fat. I keep saying I’ll do more cardio but wow I hate it so much.
ps I’m flexing

Early this year, my stepdad told me he would start lifting with me and showing me how to do things…Well we didn’t go all last week and it looks like we won’t go this week either. Earlier he took an entire month off. That seems so selfish considering he knows I am not going to go by myself. JUST GO WITH ME. He has no idea that I want to get serious about lifting and start doing olympic lifting someday, he thinks its just something I want to do to be toned or whatever. I mean, I could go alone but I am NOT confident in my ability to deadlift and squat without somehow messing up or looking like an idiot and I feel like my form would be wrong on like everything. I feelysf getting fatter. He makes me so mad. He has no excuse not to go tonight, because he has been doing nothing productive. He said he’ll be “too busy” To go tomorrow. GUESS WHAT?!?! People way busier than you still make time. UGH!!!!!!!!

Oh my gosh my quads!! :D

I just want big quads is that too much to ask

This is what I do sometimes when I have crappy body image…I take pictures and realize that even though I have been really sucky at working out this past week, I still look fine. Trying to be body positive after years of hating my body.

Today was leg day and I worked sooo hard.

New best for deadlift (85 pounds) and squat (95 pounds)

:D

Blogilates Trafalgar (or whatever it is) cardio x1
Blogilates Bikini Blaster 1 HIIT x1
20 minute run outside

Maybe adding cardio back in won’t be so bad.